You know what else irritates me? When people say, “I’m not religious, but I’m very spiritual.” Oh yeah? Well, you’re spewing cliches, and are apparently under the impression it makes you sound smart. You are sadly mistaken.
What’s next? “I don’t care if you’re black, white, yellow, green or purple?” Fuck off.
On Sunday I wrote that ridiculous Surfitol update in roughly fifteen minutes. Sorry about that… It’s a result of all this rest I’ve been getting lately. Unless I go back to my traditional sleep-deprived state, I’m afraid I’ll be writing stuff like that from time to time. And, if left unchecked, it could eventually lead to something really absurd. So, please consider this a warning.
Were there any Native Americans (aka Injuns) that were complete cowards? I bet there were. I wish somebody would write a book about them. Also, handicapped cowards, cancer cowards, etc. This information is in short supply, and needs to be available.
What other groups of folks should be included in our Forgotten Cowards series? You know, the people who are always described as courageous, no matter what? Maybe 1960s Civil Rights activists? I bet a few of them were cowards, right? Help me out here. I think I’m going to start work on a book proposal.
And just so you know, if I’m ever diagnosed with a terminal disease, I plan to behave disgracefully.
We got hit with about eight inches of snow on Saturday, and it was perfect. We didn’t go anywhere, there was a big pot of chili a-simmering in the kitchen, and I lazed around for hours with a Kindle perched on my substantial gut. I love the early snows… especially when I’m not required to go out in it.
It’ll be interesting to see what I’m saying about it in February, though. I have a feeling my enthusiasm will have lessened by then. And I’ll be standing at the window, hollering, “Again?! What the hell, man?? I’m sick of all this faggot-ass goddamn shitbox cockneck snow!!” Or something similar.
Why does society tell me I must wash my hands every time I take a leak? Are you saying my wiener skin is filthy? I’m offended. My wiener skin is pristine. In fact, it’s no different than scratching my forearm. How come I’m not expected to rush to the sink every time I scratch my arm or leg, and lather up like a surgeon?
Oh, I wash my hands. But I do it under protest. And I don’t appreciate the attitude. I think I’m going to go to Occupy Scranton, and hold up a sign that says, STOP INSULTING MY WIENER SKIN! Who’s with me?!
And finally, what do you think are the funniest comedy albums of all time? Three jump immediately to my mind:
Richard Pryor Wanted: Live in Concert
George Carlin On the Road
Robert Schimmel Comes Clean
Those are the three comedy albums I’ve enjoyed the most during my life. I also liked a couple of the Steve Martin records, and a few of the Sam Kinison releases.
But what about you? Please use the comments link below to set me straight on it.
And I’ll be back tomorrow.
Have a great day!