And so… Verizon is out of the Motorola Droid phone. Is that not excellent? I’ve been waiting, semi-patiently, for the day I’ll be able to upgrade, it finally arrives, and I’m told I’ll have to wait some more.
But it’s no problem, right? I shouldn’t have an issue with the fact that the phone goes out of stock on the VERY DAY I’m able to order it? It’s just an unfortunate coincidence and fact of life, and I should smile and laugh and skip down the goddamn lane with a basket full of freaking rose petals.
Here’s the only-mildly-exaggerated conversation I had with Verizon customer service today:
Clara (I think that was her fake name): How may I help you today, Jeff?
Me: Um, I was trying to upgrade to a Motorola Droid on your website, and it’s telling me you’re out of stock?
Clara: What are the last four digits of your social?
Me: What? Oh. <I tell her>.
Clara: And how may I help you today, at this time?
Me: You’re out of the Droid?
Clara: Can I get your date of birth?
Me: <I tell her, through clenched teeth>
Clara: OK, let me check on that phone for you, Jeff.
Much keyboard clacking can be heard, as well as fifty or sixty people talking in the background.
Clara: The website says we’re temporarily out of stock on that phone.
Me: Yeah, I know. Do you have any idea when you’ll have more?
Clara: No, it doesn’t provide that kind of information.
Me: So, you’re just looking at the website? You don’t have any special screens or anything? I can see the website from here.
Clara: I can tell you that we have stock in all other regions of the country, but none in the northeast.
Me: OK, so just send me one from Texas.
Clara: (laughs as if that’s the most preposterous thing she’s ever heard) I’m afraid we can’t do that, Jeff.
Me: Well, I’ve been waiting for months to get this phone, and today I finally have my $200 credit…
Clara: No sir, you have a $100 credit.
Me: The website tells me the regular price is $299, and I can now get it for $99. That’s $200.
Clara: You have a $100 credit, as well as a $100 discount. You don’t have a $200 credit.
Clara: I’m just trying to be accurate, sir, at this time.
Me: But the final price is $99, correct?
Me: $200 off?
Clara: Yes, with a credit and a discount.
Me: And you can’t tell me when you’ll have more phones?
Clara: I’m sorry, but no.
Me: I’m really glad I called.
Clara: We’re glad, too! Thank you for choosing Verizon.
It was very helpful (at this time). And I apologize for this ridiculous update, but I’m all whipped into a frenzy over here. I’m certain a convulsing-in-laughter Allen Funt is about to walk out from behind a partition.
Anyway… I need to go to work now. <sigh> No update would’ve probably been better.
I’ll try to make it up to you guys tomorrow.