A Halloween
encounter with the crappy and the disjointed
--Toney isn’t working today, and she’s given me a deadline
for completion of this update.We
have some things to do this afternoon, and it’s all gonna start at
Red Robin.Oh yeah.The Secrets don’t like that place for some reason, so we can
only go when they’re in school.Like
today.
So… if this one’s a little more disjointed and crappy than usual,
it’s only because Hamburger Zero Hour is approaching, and I’m
preparing to unlatch my jaw.
Pass the grease dauber.
--Today’s Halloween, in case
you didn’t know, and once again I’m going as a cynical, snarky
suburbanite with a mixed drink in his hand.It’s my favorite disguise!
Of course, I’m still on high-alert for an animal skeleton costume,
with no luck so far.Oh,
there’s plenty of human
skeletal remains costumes available for purchase, but not a single
donkey skeleton, or cow skeleton, or anything of the sort.Wotta rip-off.I just
want to dress up as a fully-decomposed head of livestock, or
something.Is that so unusual?
If you could go as anything, to some imaginary and rockin’ Halloween
party, what would it be?Even
if the laws of science and physics suggest such a costume would be
impossible…Use the comments
link to tell us about it.
--And speaking of mixed
drinks, today’s the official kick-off of Bourbon Season.As most of you are aware, the Season starts on Halloween night,
and ends on New Year’s Eve.
Usually we jump the gun on it, but it didn’t happen this year.It’s been so unSeasonably warm, it just doesn’t feel very bourbonish
outside.But I’m going to
swing by the House of Hooch this afternoon, and purchase the inaugural
jug of Maker’s
Mark.
And we’ll take it from there.
--Over the weekend I got the
bright idea to try a Chinese takeout located inside a nearby grocery
store.Our favorite Chinese
restaurant recently pissed us off, and we’re holding a grudge.So I’m achin’ for a replacement.
I’d noticed this place is almost always crowded, and that’s
generally a positive sign.So I
grabbed one of their menus, and a few days later called in an order.
Yeah, it wasn’t very good.I
got the cashew chicken, and it was loaded-up with a spice that
could’ve been ginger, I’m not sure.But whatever it was, I didn’t care for it; it was the only
thing I could taste.
And for the rest of the day I was belching and reliving that
unsatisfactory lunch in a full wallop of flavor, occasionally even
getting something “new” to chew.Never
again…
Man, it’s not easy loving Chinese food and living in Scranton, it really isn’t.
--On a semi-related note, do
you ever walk around thinking up names for rock bands, based on
whatever’s happening at the moment?
For instance, on Sunday I thought Belching Ginger would be a good name
for a band.And last night I
turned the TV over to Fox News, and came up with Greta and the Missing
White Girls.
Do you ever do this?If so,
what are some of your bands?We
need to know.
--Here’s an interesting new
Smoking Fish pic, reportedly taken in Korea.Any way to confirm that, based on the photograph provided?I need closure, dammit.
--And Surf Reporter BCD sent
me this link to the greatest holiday decoration I’ve seen in a long,
long time.Now that’s
cool.
--Oh yeah, and when I was
picking up our Chinese food the other day, I snapped this picture with
my cell phone.The back of the
guy’s shirt said “You want a piece of me?”Why is that funny?
And where in God’s name would a person buy such jeans??Look at those things!The
legs are fairly normal, but the waist is like something created by the
Army Corps of Engineers.Is
there such a thing as FunnelPants dotcom?I simply don’t know.
--I’m going to leave you now
with a Special Report from Will, the Keeper of the
Blanket.This is a follow-up to something we discussed last week, a
subject that’s obviously still open for debate.Check it out, right here.
And I know I said I’d tell you about our quick visit to the Office
Convention today, but I just don’t feel like it.Maybe next time?We’ll
see how it goes.
