-- When I was a kid, maybe fourth grade or so, I went through somebody's yard one summer morning, and took a short-cut between two houses.
Back in those days, correctly or incorrectly, we believed we were allowed to do such things unless we were told differently (yelled at). We pretty much used the entire neighborhood as our own personal kingdom…
And on this morning I walked between a pair of neat cinderblock houses, and there was a woman standing way up high in one of the windows, washing dishes and wearing a bra. That is to say, she was wearing a bra --
and no shirt.
Gulp.
It was one of those big 1970s steel safety-cage models, with side-impact system, and straps as wide as seatbelts. The woman was probably in her thirties, but seemed like an old lady to me. I looked at her, my eyes bugged-out,
her eyes bugged-out, I ran in one direction, and she ran in the other direction...
It was roughly thirty-five years ago, and I can still see it inside my head like it just happened today. As
John Kerry would say, it's seared, seared, in my memory.
And as I was driving to work on Monday thinking about that brief but memorable event, I realized it was but one of three times in my life I've seen strangers, or almost-strangers, wearing bras through a window. And what are the odds? Hmm?
When I had my paper route a pair of trashy twins lived next-door to one of my customers. They were a year younger than me, and I was probably fifteen or sixteen when this occurred. There were a lot of stories about
those girls; in addition to many others, they supposedly "got to know" a couple of the guys on the high school basketball team I listed on Thursday. And not Paul, either…
Anyway, I was delivering a paper to a very old man who was practically blind. I don't know how he read the damn thing, but he paid me and that's all that really mattered. My one concession: I'd walk up and put the paper in those metal magazine loops on the bottom of his mailbox. If I'd just hurled it from the street, like I did for most people, he never would've found it.
And might've gone over a railing, looking...
As I was making my way back to the main sidewalk, I heard a tapping sound coming from Slut House. I looked over and those twins were in the window with their shirts off, gyrating and thrusting and pursing their lips.
I know this sounds like the beginning of a Penthouse Forum letter but, believe me, it isn't. I almost reacted the exact same way I
had in fourth grade, but somehow managed not to run screaming from the scene. I
wish I could report that I pumped my fist in the air, and hollered,
"Put 'em on the glass!" But, sadly, I just stood there with my mouth hanging
open like Gomer Pyle.
The whole thing probably only lasted five seconds, and they both burst into laughter and dropped the blind. I don't know how long it took me to start walking again, but it seemed like a
very long time. It was a while before blood began working its way back to my limbs…
The girl on the left was wearing a white bra, and the girl on the right was wearing a blue one: also
seared.
A few days later at school one of them came up to me in the hallway and called me a peeping-tom and a pervert, and said she was going to tell everyone that she and her sister caught me looking in their window.
I walked away, completely intimidated, and never heard another word about it.
Years later, in Greensboro, NC, I was walking back to my girlfriend's apartment, after the two of us spent an hour or so at a bar called
College Hill
Sundries. She lived nearby, in a neighborhood filled with great old houses, now broken into apartments serving college students.
And as we passed a house on a corner, she slapped me on the shoulder and yelled, "Look at that!"
There was a girl in one of the ground-floor apartments, wearing nothing but a bra and panties, and dancing around an ironing board with an iron in her hand. The place was brightly-lit, and the curtains were wide open. The girl had to know; she was practically onstage.
We stood and watched and laughed our asses off. It was the only time I've ever seen semi-nude iron-dancing.
My girlfriend knew this person, she was a student at UNCG and was supposedly "crazy." I can't remember all the details, but I seem to remember a story about a bad break-up, which caused her to lose her mind. Or something along those lines.
So, there ya go. Have you ever seen anything you probably shouldn't have, through a window? Use the comments link below, to tell us all about it.
And I need to stop right here... Chaos is less than 100 miles away
from the Compound.
