--My brain
chemicals are mixing in a most unsatisfactory manner.I woke up in a foul mood yesterday, and today’s no better.Something’s gotta change.I can’t put my finger on what, but something.
Last night at work half of the people didn’t show up; they were all
“sick,” I guess.And
it’s funny, ever since winter ended and the weather became nice,
there’s been a sudden up-tick in Sunday Night Sickness.Week after week a large portion of the crew is stricken.The CDC should really look into it…
One guy in my department left a message on the call-off line, and
said, “It’s been a long day.”That’s the reason he gave us.
And, of course, the folks who actually honor their obligations get to
smile and eat the big shit samlich, while all the “sick” people
sit around in plastic chairs, drink ice-water beer, talk about
waterbeds and weightlifting, and holler at their l’il buzzcut
hicklets.
Do I sound bitter?
Also, Sunshine & Mumbles will be here tomorrow.They could be here today, but they want to stop somewhere and
tour a “camper museum.”What
in the giraffe-neck hell??
In any case, the moment they arrive will be the beginning of extended
chaos at the Compound.I’ve
got fifteen things going on, and it’s all going to have to be put
on-hold until the craziness ends.
S&M will be here tomorrow, Nancyand her rolling circus of high-kookery will be arriving on Thursday or
Friday, and I think they’re all going to Canadafor a few days, then coming back – this time with Nossy’s earlier
set of children.It’ll be
interesting to see if they’re also transparent, but beyond that… I
don’t much care for any of it.
And I feel like I’m in sort of a WVSR rut.God knows I’d be a basket-case if I didn’t have this site
to occupy my mind, and sincerely appreciate everyone who stops-in
every day, but something’s askew.I’ve
got to give it some thought.
So, there you go.Another
uplifting beginning to a new week, here at the West Virginia Surf
Report!
--Speaking of work, some
guy from another department was sitting with me at lunch yesterday,
and bitching about one of his co-workers.And here’s a quote:
“He’s always talking about how much money he’s made in the stock
market, claims he doesn’t really have to work...
The next time he
brings it up, I’m going to say, ‘Well, if you’re so rich, why
don’t you invest eight dollars and buy a nose hair trimmer?’”
I almost swallowed a complete, unbitten pizza-flavored Combo.
--I took Andy for a walk
a few nights ago, and got caught in a rainstorm.One minute it was sunny, then we found ourselves far from home
and stumbling through a downpour.
But check out this picture I took.If you look closely you can see that it’s a double-rainbow.For some reason, the whole thing seemed amazing to me.I was fully expecting a unicorn to come out from behind
Half-Shirt’s garden shed.
--When I was using the
stand-up pee-catcher at the library on Friday, a fly landed on my, um,
business.Now, I hate to be a pain in the ass, always complaining and
whatnot, but my wiener is not a park bench.
I tried to perform some sort of jujitsu move, flick the insect into
the air, and in one smooth motion shoot it down with a stream of
urine.But I only
succeeded in getting pee on my pants.
--After deciding last
week that it would be too expensive, we changed our minds yesterday
morning and bought four tickets to see Weird Al Yankovic next month at
the Scranton Cultural Center.
It will be the Secrets’ first concert, and they both love Weird Al.My first concert, as reported on multiple occasions, was Steve
Martin, back during his white-suit Wild and Crazy Guy stand-up
comedian days.My first
music concert was Billy Joel, and my first rock concert was Cheap
Trick.
So now you’re up to date.And
the Weird Al tickets, with Ticketmaster fees and everything?$220!Sweet sainted
mother of Hal & Viola Levolier…
--I had a powerful
hankerin’ for Five Guys yesterday, and went there before leaving for
work.And they still
won’t put tomatoes on their burgers…Enough is enough!Isn’t
the media-stoked panic (RED
SCARE!) over by now?Dammit,
I need my death-apples.
--Surf Reporter Paul
sends along this update, about last week’s Thursday
Theme:
Jeff,
Just a few quick thoughts about Abraham Lincoln that
were discussed at length (perhaps too much length) last Thursday at
work.
Abe
Lincolnwas responsible for the red stripe which warns you of a register
receipt running out, it was originally comprised of poodle blood (it
should be noted that no animals were harmed during the making of this
untruth).
Abe had both male and female genitalia, some believe
he actually had three sets, the third being referred to as the "LincolnLog."
Llamas were his passion, as he dedicated many hours
herding and milking them.
Being a master alchemist, he invented a substance
with which he was able to build many log cabins, later named "Go
Dust", hence meth heads were born.
Abraham Lincoln could cut an onion in record time,
but could not keep himself from crying while doing it. So, the next
time you tear up while cutting an onion, don’t feel ashamed, Abe
cried too. He was also very adept at peeling carrots.
Yeah, we really have too much time on our hands,
Later, Paul
Thanks Paul!I’m glad
the Themes are starting to take hold.Together, we can build a more perfect work-week...
And that’s going to do it for today, boys and girls.
