--We never made it to the Bronx Zoo. When the oldest Secret came
home from school on Wednesday, he said he was tired and proceeded to
fall almost instantly to sleep on the couch.He's usually swinging for the fences, so I knew something was askew.
I
went to work, and Toney told me he was running a mild temperature and
acting kind of lethargic all evening.Not good.
And
when I got home at 3:15 am, he came downstairs with a face
the color of Mountain Dew Code Red.Holy
crap! Toney
had given him Motrin, but it was clearly time for another dose.The thermometer said 103 degrees, and he looked like something
off Yellow Submarine.
He
stayed home on Thursday, and didn't get any better.So we told the school he wouldn't be able to go to the zoo on
Friday. And since he wasn't going I sure as shit wasn't either...Which cost us fifty-four non-refundable dollars.
I
took him to the doctor on Friday morning and they said he almost
certainly has strep throat, but the results of the test wouldn't be
available for 24 hours.In
the meantime, we should just keep feeding him Motrin.
And
here's a conversation I had with the doctor, as close to verbatim as
my memory will allow:
Doc:
Has he been recently exposed to someone with strep throat?
Me:
Not that I know of. Maybe in that Petri dish they call the Middle
School?
Doc:
Yes, if they ever shut down the schools, we'd go out of business here.It's all a big conspiracy, you know.
Me:
You probably shouldn't joke. There are people who would believe that.
Doc:
You don't know the half of it.
The
next morning they called and confirmed their suspicions, and we
started him on antibiotics.During
the day his temperature shot up to 104, and I don't much care for it.That's getting mighty close to convulsion territory, isn't it?
Every
time the Motrin would wear off, his fever would rocket back up.And it seemed like it had been going on for days on end, with
no improvement.
But
he's better now.By Sunday
afternoon he was playing Guitar Hero again, and shot-gunning Nathan's
hotdogs.
It's
a funny thing, though.The
moment the doctor uttered the phrase "strep throat," my
throat started hurting.I
said, "That's really contagious, isn't it?"And the doc said, not really.It's passed by saliva, not through the air, so as long as
you're not "sharing a toothbrush with someone," you should
be OK.
But
I've always heard it's highly contagious, and could feel the illness
taking over my system with each passing minute.In fact, my throat has started hurting again as I've been
writing about all this.
It
goes away when I forget about it, and comes back when I remember.Isn't that odd?
--It was so hot and humid this weekend I felt glazed, like an
Easter ham.On Friday it
was almost too uncomfortable to sleep.And on Saturday we dragged up all our Soviet humbox window air
conditioners from the basement, installed them, and turned 'em on
wide-open.
I'm
sure our electric meter was nothing but a blur, but that's the way the
ol' carbon footprint crumbles.I'm
not sitting around in 100% humidity, with an ass crack full of moss.And I'm not certain of it, but I think that's about where I was
midday Saturday: with an ass crack full
of moss.
--Since we're on the subject, have you ever noticed how high
humidity unlocks funk?I
have a small fridge in the bunker, and it was leaking water a few
months ago.It was no big
deal, I cleaned it up, corrected the problem, and never looked back.
But
on Saturday the carpet near that refrigerator started smelling like an
open grave.It was
disgusting in here, and I actually started looking around for a
decomposing animal carcass, before I figured it out.
Then
a couple of hours after the air conditioner began working its magic,
the terrible stink went away.Well,
I guess it's still there, it's just locked away by dry air...And that's good enough for me.Screw it.
When
we lived in California Toney ran a licensed daycare out of our home.Therefore, all of our living room furniture was repeatedly
pissed-into by other peoples' children.We cleaned and cleaned, but I think the couch and loveseat were
pee-soaked all the way through their wooden frames.
But, of course, we lived in the desert and had a Staples
Center-caliber air conditioning unit.So it wasn't noticeable.
But
when we moved here, and brought that furniture along… WOW!The first hot day and our living room smelled like the
stairwell of a downtown parking garage.
Yeah, that crap was in a landfill ASAP.
--Over the weekend I
tended to my Netflix obligation, and knocked out all three discs.They’d been hanging around for a good long time…
I watched two remaining episodes of The
Fugitive (both were great!),
the original 1980 version of Prom
Night (almost shockingly
lame), and a movie called I
Want Someone to Eat Cheese With
(mildly amusing, with an emphasis on mildly).
Now I’m switching gears and going back to TV shows.I have a few more discs of The
Fugitive to go, and will be
starting the sixth season of 24,
and the third season of The
Wire this coming weekend.You can’t go wrong with a lineup like that!
I’m also going to watch the first season of Mannix
soon, and the Ken Burns documentary The
War.Just so you know.
--And speaking of movies,
some of you might accuse me of manufacturing this next item.But I swear on a stack of Elvis Costello virgin vinyl it’s
true.
Toney talked to Nancyyesterday morning, and
Nancywanted to know if we’d ever
seen this film.I don’t
want to type out the title, because I’m paranoid; I’m afraid Eninen might
do some internet research on it.
Anyway,
she said Nostrildamus watched it on Friday, and it “upset him
greatly.”Nancytold Toney he cried through the
night, and she had to sit up with him, soothe him, and hold him in her
arms.
This is not processed comedy, it's completely organic.And it's almost as good as the time he was driving
somewhere, got caught in a rainstorm, shit his pants due to fear, and
had to have Nancybring him
fresh underwear
and a tube of skin crème.
What did you guys do this weekend?Anything exciting?
Like, for instance, cry uncontrollably because of a Robin Williams
movie? Use
the comments link below, to bring us up to date.
