When I was in West Virginia recently, my mother reacted negatively every time I dared to even glance at my phone. She would either launch into a diatribe about it, sigh theatrically, or shake her head in deep, deep disappointment.
I know how she feels about cell phones (also Facebook), so I kept my glancing to a minimum. Heck, even when I’m unencumbered by parental pressures, I’m not the type to check my phone obsessively. I certainly don’t pick it up and start monkeying around with the thing while somebody else is talking.
But she HATES cell phones, no matter what’s going on. I could be the only person in the room, and it would still be a crime against humanity, similar to those of Stalin, if I checked my Gmail. Yet, the TV is on in their house for 16 hours a day — tuned to some of the most soul-crushing programming imaginable. Like Family Feud.
My mother is not alone in her feelings. I hear people bitch about cell phones — especially smart phones for some reason — all the time. They say folks used to be much more sociable, and weren’t off in their own little worlds. You know, back in the good ol’ days, like when the photo above was taken.
I know some people are rude, and carry on loud conversations in grocery stores, etc. But that’s not the phone’s fault, it’s the asshole who’s driving it. We’re talking Apple and assholes here.
Anyway, I love my phone, and will not apologize for it. Oh, I’ll try to keep the peace while my parents are around, but that’s as far as it goes. I will continue to read my email, jot down ideas in Evernote, and even glance at the evil Facebook and Twitter every once in a while. Because I am a hero.
Not as big a hero, of course, as the people who say, “I have a pay-as-you-go flip-phone that only takes and receives calls, and costs $7 per month.” There are no bigger heroes than those folks. Except, maybe, the “I don’t own a television” contingent. It’s hard to say.
I guess we’re all heroes, in our own ways, right? …Can you tell I wrote this update in, like, five minutes? Pass the beer nuts.
Shit! I have a meeting 40 miles from here, in less than an hour.
I’ll see you guys again tomorrow!
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