Halloween used to be a big deal around our house.  When our kids were younger they jumped into it with all four feet.  Every weekend we’d have to take them to various “scary stores” around town, and they plotted and schemed for a couple of months in advance of the Big Day.

Now?  They couldn’t give a single dingle.  …Well, OK, maybe a single dingle, but definitely no more than one.  It makes me a little sad, if you want to know the truth.

I know they’re growing up, and things change, but I liked it better when everything excited them.  The jaded teenage “I’ve seen it all” years tend to piss me off.  Because they HAVEN’T seen it all; who are they trying to fool?  What kind of ridiculous scam are they trying to pull-off here?

The older Secret went to a party at a trustable friend’s house, so he wasn’t even with us during the evening.  And his “costume” was thrown together at the last minute, with very little enthusiasm.  Boy oh boy… the nine year old him would’ve been appalled.

The younger boy always goes trick or treating with a certain friend, and he was out of town this year.  So, that was kind of a bummer, too.

I took him around the neighborhood, but his heart clearly wasn’t in it.  It wasn’t the same without his buddy, and he was kinda irritated that his brother wasn’t around.  There was a definite negative vibe wafting off that miniature zombie.

Plus, I’d guess two-thirds of the houses had their porch lights turned off.  Wot up wit’ dat?  At many of the darkened houses I could see the light of a TV screen through a basement window.  The stick-up-their-ass bastards were hiding out down there, with their black, black souls.

While we walked I kept hearing a weird noise off in the distance, something that sounded like cheering at a sporting event, but higher pitched.  The crap?

Finally, we encountered a group of tragically nerdy high school boys, all dressed as ghosts and being “outrageous.”  While they walked between houses they continuously made shrill ghost noises, which they obviously believed was wild and wacky stuff.

That’s what I’d been hearing: high-douchery in action.

But even worse was what they did after someone answered the knock at their front door.  These guys would launch into a fully-scripted chant of some sort, that lasted WAAAAY too long.  And the poor sap who’d come to the door with a bowl of candy would have to stand there with a tortured smile plastered on his face, waiting for it to end.  …And would it ever end??

Yes, it was a large roaming herd of boy-nerds, who will talk about that night for the rest of their lives.  It’ll be one of their greatest triumphs.  God, they’ll tell anyone who’ll listen, we were crazy back then, just out of control…  I was hoping someone would throw a Crockpot full of chili on them.

So, yeah.  I was irritated that our kids weren’t more into it, and also irritated other kids were too into it.  I know it’s hypocritical.  What of it?

Halloween night is also the traditional start of Bourbon Season, but that was compromised as well.  Since the older boy wasn’t home, we didn’t feel comfortable breaking into the bottle of Jack Daniel’s purchased earlier in the day.  He’d arranged for a ride home, but you never know.

So, we didn’t kick off the Season until about 10 pm.  And only had one drink each…  Lame, man.  But I’m confident we’ll make up for it in the long run.  Especially once Sunshine & Mumbles arrive in mid-December, and the Nancy clan descends on the compound for Christmas.

Yeah, it’s probably best that we’re pacing ourselves.  Sweet sainted mother of Bill Oates!

I know this one is short, but that’s the way it goes sometimes.  In the comments, please tell us about your Halloween this go-round.  Was it more satisfying than ours, I hope?

Also, do you have any actual wildness stories from Halloweens past?  Not choreographed nerdplay, but real craziness from your youth?  We did the normal stuff:  soaped windows, threw eggs (you have to shake them first, or they’ll explode in your throwing hand), wrist-rocket fun, M-80s in mailboxes, etc. You know, stuff that would’ve caused those “ghosts” to soil their sheets.

Tell us all about it, won’t you?

And I’ll be back tomorrow, with more.  See ya then.

Now playing in the bunker

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